siren song

I have to move

past

because if I don’t, I’ll spend the rest of my life

in the fog of bitter loss

staring into the rot and rubble

remembering

resenting

relieving the pain

by reliving the pain

A rhythm

a siren song that lulls me

unto holy self-pity

paralysis

coma

Death

I am neither when I am

nor when I’d rather be

gasping for a future

just above the surface

a fading promise

And I can’t

breathe